


punny

by paxatonic



Series: teachers au [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Pining, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 09:38:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11415198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paxatonic/pseuds/paxatonic
Summary: "we leave each other notes on the blackboards au"





	punny

 

Steve walked into the classroom as the bell rung, door clicking shut, much to the dismay of any late students. He sighed deeply and smiled brightly at his students. “Hey guys, happy monday- I know, I know. More like kill me now. But hey, what doesn’t brighten up a monday morning like cold war relations?” 

He flashed them a cheeky grin and ignored the sighs as he walked over to the whiteboard and uncapped a marker. “Alright, get your notes out, we’ve got a solid half-hour of this.”

“Uh, Mr. Rogers?” An uncertain voice came from behind him.

He turned in the middle of the sentence he was writing. “Yeah, Alexis?”

“What’s with the-?” She gestured towards the upper left corner of the board. He looked and found some writing in red, contrary to his usual blue, which could only mean one thing. Stark. He capped the marker and crossed his arms as he read along with the entire class.

_ Roses are red, so is the state. Let us be comrades, b/c you are great. _

Steve snorted and shook his head lightly, erasing the note. “Alright, so, speaking of communism…” He returned to his spot on the board for notes.

“Wait, are you not gonna talk about it? That’s like the fifth day in a row that Mr. Stark’s left a note on your board.” Alexis pointed out, exasperated. “Are you ever going to respond? It’s getting kind of ridiculous.”

“No, I don’t think…” He trailed off. In truth, he’d been thinking about what to do back ever since the first note- a Julius Caesar pun- but always got too nervous. Was this a sign the other man liked him, or just a game? How does he even respond? Ask him to dinner- or lunch, maybe? How does he even go about that?  _ Hey, we’ve never really talked outside of those notes you write on my board, but do you wanna go out with me? Oh, by the way, do you like men? _

“Mr. Rogers!” Alexis snapped him out of his own thoughts. “Aren’t you gonna write a note back? I hear he doesn’t come in until ten on mondays.”

“Wish I could do that.” A boy mumbled from the back row, not lifting his head from his desk.

“A note?” Steve raised his eyebrows. “Oh. Right.” He smiled. “A note. That’s perfect. Uh, Alexis. You’re in charge. Don’t burn the building down or… organize a coup.” He left the classroom in a hurry, walking down the hall to Tony’s classroom. Using his key to get in he recalled everything he remembered from his junior physics course- not a lot- and thanked god his teacher was a punny guy, writing his note in blue.

 

-

 

“That’s… odd.” Tony scrunched up his face when he found the door to his classroom was already unlocked. He shrugged it off, figuring the janitor must’ve forgotten to lock up, and walked briskly into the room. Dropping his bag onto his desk and talking a long drink from his coffee his eyes caught on certain blue lettering on the board, above some equations left up from last friday’s lesson.

_ Einstein developed a theory about space. About time, too! _

He snorted at the pun, smiling as he examined the lettering. “Looks like Cap finally came to play.” He chuckled softly as he booted up Dum-E, who hummed in response. “Was beginning to think he didn’t like my puns.” He pouted and then broke out in another grin.

 

-

 

“Okay, so,” Steve clasped his hands together, “today’s gonna be a little different. We’re going to debate: whose fault? US or USSR.” He took a look around the room and saw not a single student was paying attention, most whispering among themselves, laughing or smiling behind Steve at the board.

Turning, he found a new note written in red marker on his board.

_ Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? ‘Cause there were so many knights _

A stupid grin spread across Steve’s face. He left this one up throughout his class.

 

-

 

Tony burst into the classroom, both tie and sunglasses crooked and coffee in hand. “Sorry, guys.” He sighed deeply, pausing to smirk at his students. “Bit of a rough night.”

“Was Mr. Rogers there?” A girl in the front row- Olivia might be her name, but don’t hold him to that- asked.

“What? No. Why?” He tossed his bag and sunglasses on his desk and raised an eyebrow at his student. She smirked and pointed at the board, where there was a little drawing in blue marker.

It was a cartoon of a worm, with an adorable little smile and a hole in the middle, the words “ _ worm-hole!” _ written underneath it. Tony smiled and left it up.

 

-

 

_ How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars _

 

_ A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a gin and tonic?” The bartender replied, “For you? No charge.” _

 

_ Civil war jokes? I General Lee don’t enjoy them. _

 

_ My physics teacher told me I had potential. Then he threw me off the roof. _

 

-

 

It’s been a week of trading messages, and by now Steve looked at the board on instinct every time he walked into the room, as did every one of his students. Today he came in to a slightly different message than the usual.

_ What do history teachers make when they want to get together? Dates! (I know I’m not a history teacher, but we could still have lunch.) _

He blushed furiously and wiped it away before any of his students could see it. They all whispered throughout the day about “trouble in paradise.”

 

-

 

Tony couldn’t remember the last time he was nervous about a guy. Or girl, for that matter. He showed up at school at nine fifteen and went straight to Pepper’s office. He barged in- she wasn’t in a meeting, luckily- and dropped into one of the chairs opposite her desk with a dramatic sigh.

“Wow, you’re awake before nine thirty. It’s a miracle.” She paused in the middle of typing to eye him suspiciously. “Why aren’t you dead?”

He shrugged. “Can’t a guy come to work early?”

“Well, yeah, and I’m thrilled you would come in early, but you should be using that time to prep for your first class and not bother me.” She paused and turned her body fully towards him. “Why’re you here, Tony?”

He frowned and bounced his leg, trying to come up with an excuse and not finding one. “Alright.” He took a deep breath, “there’s this hot history teacher down the hall from me and a couple of weeks ago I started writing notes on his board and then he started writing back and he writes in the morning before I get there and yesterday I basically asked him out and today I got excited and got here early and I don’t know when he writes it so I have to go somewhere else until ten.”

Pepper raised her eyebrows. “Didn’t you ever learn about run-on sentences?”

He narrowed his eyes. “I  _ am _ a physics teacher.”

She smiled and shook her head. “You’re ridiculous, Tony. You can stay in here, but please don’t start rambling on about your sex life, like last time.”

“I promise.” He put his hands together and smiled at her as she returned to her actual work. Eventually he wandered off to his classroom, arriving at Ten, on the dot. Entering the classroom he discarded his belongings on his desk quickly and looked for the note, but found none.

“Well, shit.”

 

-

 

Steve was grading papers when Nat appeared in the doorway to his classroom, leaning casually in the frame. “So, you wanna tell me why Stark is taking apart the coffee maker in the teacher's lounge?”

He jumped, settling down when he saw it was her. “Natasha, hey. Maybe it was broken? I hear he’s handy with that kind of stuff.”

“Well it worked fine this morning, and considering Stark has never set foot in the teacher’s lounge let alone gotten his coffee from our second rate machine, it’s highly unlikely.” She folded her arms. “What did you do to him?”

“Why would you think I did anything?”

“Because you two’ve been unbearable for the past few weeks-  _ Tony  _ this and  _ Steve  _ that, and you’d think the  _ first time  _ you ask someone if they know any physics or history puns, they would stop asking.” She rolled her eyes. “Just please go and talk to him. And in person, not in some weird flirty note.”

She disappeared from the doorway just as quickly as she had appeared, leaving Steve alone. He sighed and made his way to the teacher’s lounge.

Tony was sitting at one of the tables, most of the coffee maker spread out in spare parts across the table, with Tony crouched over the main machine. Steve cleared his throat loudly and the other man’s head popped up.

“Steve,” he said, surprised. He ducked his head again, pretending to be busy with the machine at his fingers. “Sorry about the mess.”

“I’m more upset about the loss of coffee.” Steve stuck his hands in his pockets and walked over to the table. “Tell me, what did the machine ever do to merit this sort of treatment?”

Tony cracked a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I sort of run on coffee, and I’ve been needing my extra dose- as in, by the gallon, and there’s no way I’m running home for every cup, but the coffee this thing brews is… dog piss.”

Steve choked, and covered his mouth as he tried not to laugh. “Dog piss?”

“For lack of a better way to put it.” Tony sighed, leaning his head against his palm and glaring at the machine parts in front of him. “I have built working machines in hours but somehow am being defeated by a coffee machine. I’ve figured out how to make the adjustments but now I’m getting caught up in all of these little parts, because I’ve been too distracted to get my head straight and remember where they all go, because I asked you out and now I’ve been getting radio silence.” He looked up at Steve sharply.

Steve gaped. “I-I didn’t know you would… care that much.” He laughed nervously.

“What with me dating half the female staff? Yeah, I get that.” Tony sighed and sat back. “Look, I’m sorry if I came on a little strong, or if me coming on at all was a problem- I don’t think I could mistake the bi flag bumper sticker- but I’ve been told I have a problem with thinking everyone is automatically attracted to me-”

“Tony.” Steve pulled out a chair and sat facing the other man. “Do you always talk this much?”

“When I’m nervous.” Tony shrugged.

“Well, first of all, I am attracted to you. No wrong assumptions there. Second, I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you. I was just nervous, cause you’re… well you’re smart, funny and hot as hell, so it’s a little intimidating coming up with a good date idea.”

“Date idea? I imagined we’d just have lunch in your classroom. Or mine, and then I’d get to show you my stuff.” Tony smirked. “I mean my machines, of course.”

“Of course.” Steve chuckled. “That sounds nice, Tony. But then, I wanna take you on a real date. Dinner, lobster, small talk- all that first date kind of stuff.”

“Lobster? What kind of girl do you think I am?” Tony smirked.

“Oh, I-I didn’t think, you don’t-” Steve stuttered.

“Relax, I would  _ love _ Lobster.” Tony winked. “And I would love to have our first date today, but it looks like I’ll have to go out and buy a new coffee maker during my free period or else Natasha will kill me by tomorrow morning.”

“How about I come with you?”

Tony smiled. “It’s a date.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> look @ these nerds  
> I wish I could've come up with a single one of these puns but nah creds to google  
> also I've never taken a single physics course so some of these only make vague sense to me
> 
> comment so I don't feel lonely pls aight ty nighty night


End file.
